the drink

I want to change my thinking around alcohol.  My current thinking is that it is a substance I consume that makes me feel relaxed and jovial.  I also think it gives me the opportunity to "check out" so to speak and not allow myself the usual contemplative thought patterns as I am definitely and over-thinker.  The problem is that when I "check out", it usually leads to over consumption and regret which usually leads to a major imbalance in my life.  There have been thoughts in the past that I should give up drinking altogether but that didn't seem right either.  For now, I am experimenting with the notion that drinking has its place in my life.  It helps me relax a bit while socializing, tastes good with dinner and assists me in "acting a fool" with my friends, an activity I wouldn't give up for anything.  That said, I think my work is  staying conscious while drinking and not checking out mentally, but paying attention to how I really feel while drinking.  I am attempting to do this for 30 days and hope that it will show me that I can have just as good a time moderating and not have to pay for it later.

Greed vs. Fear

Last night Joseph made a good analogy.  He said that one of the best activities for keeping ego in check is day trading the stock market.  That trading was a good discipline for listening to your higher self rather than your ego.  Whenever he felt a little greedy because he made some money or fearful to take action because he would lose money, he knew that ego was in control and he should not be trading at all.  Conversely when he looked at the trades from a higher more centered place, he never made a "bad" trade.

This rings true for me in my own experience in that I am struggling to keep my ego balanced.  There are days when I feel I deserve the world and make ego-based decisions to spend too much money or party a little too much that I suffer the consequences.  There are days when I don't feel good about myself at all and decide that isolation and binge eating or drinking is comfortable and good.  The truth is that I seek balance and to come from a higher version of myself.  I am reminding myself that when I start to feel greedy or fearful, it is a signal to remember my higher self.