The Plan

For over two years, I have been working on and revising a plan of action to achieve my short and long term goals.  It is a good plan with built in daily actions for accomplishing nearly everything I want to see show up in my life.  There are week s that I am on track with it and weeks and weeks when I simply ignore it altogether.  I am not sure what has caused me to think this is a good idea. 

I have always been a procrastinator, doing what is comfortable and feels good at the time, thereby delaying what needs to be done.  I have been carefully observing this in myself for some time and watch as it eventually causes me anxiety and depression.  It has gotten to the point where even the comfort zone doesn't feel good anymore because I know what is coming after.  I have been meditating on what to do and have, time and time again, been told to listen to myself.  Follow my plan!  I am my own best medicine I guess, so the plan is to do just that.  Follow the plan and when the tasks become challenging or uncomfortable, understand that I don't need to feel that way.  I can choose to take on those tasks with ease.  Eventually both doing the work with ease as well as continuing to push myself will bring about a joyful being.

The Work

Obama is in!  I'm 33!  Now its time for the work.  I feel it in the core of my soul.  Now is not the time for wasted energy.  Now is the time to work really hard in everything I am involved in; the gallery; school; my health, my wealth, my relationships and of course my consciousness.  Now, what does this mean exactly? It means that I watch how I spend my time and money and energy.  Yes, even on the weekends.  It means meditating and writing and being true to what I say I am gong to do.  It means not drinking myself into oblivion even if that means not drinking at all.  It means making my mornings very productive as well as my nights.  It means balance.  I am ready. I have the resources.  I have the power.  

Election 2008

November 3 & 4, 2008

One thing that I have always possessed is a lot of hope.  No matter how challenging things get and whether they are in my control or not, I have always believed that things will turn out o.k.; that I will be a better person in the end and that life is generally good.  

I am taking this attitude to the next level.  Each morning when I get out of bed, I am going to intentionally feel grateful for something or someone in my life.  I believe this will help me get inspired and motivated to begin each day.  I am determined to be a more disciplined morning person so that I can can get more out of my day including my morning meditation and journaling-not to mention getting to the gym!  

Today's gratefulness centered around Barack Obama.  We have been waiting for this day for a long time and I believe he can win.  Whenever I hear him speak, I am further convinced that he has done some sort of consciousness work and is generally a centered and balanced person. This is why I want him in the white house.  There are so many unbalanced "leaders" in government today with a lot of real life experience and that has not gotten us far.  I want the balanced guy who is calm and focused and energetic and eager to learn and will appoint good, centered people.  I want the guy who will lead by his higher consciousness and not by his ego.  

What an exciting day!  What an exciting time to be alive!

My Jesus Year

November 2, 2008

Happy Birthday to me.  I'm 33.  I think I'm finally an adult and for the first time  I actually understand what that means.  More fun.  Not the kind of random, no responsibility, let's go get fucked up kind of fun.  The creative, more powerful, I know who I am and what I want out of life kind of fun.  The fun you experience when you are in control of your life and enjoy the possibilities that surround you.

I'm ready to start taking action and fearing less.  I'm ready to think less and write more.  I'm ready to experience more joy and focus and energy.  I can't believe I have been denying myself these things and for what?  comfort!  Well, I don't want to be comfortable.  I want to be alive and I have the tools  to make that next part of me literally come to life.  It's not going to be easy, but who says work can't be joyful?

For the next 3 weeks, I have outlined 3 goals that I would like to achieve.  One is writing in this journal on a daily basis for at least 15 mins.  The next is meditation on a daily basis for 15 mins. In fact these 2 things can be done together and I am going to attempt to make it part of my morning routine.  The 3rd goal is  BIGGIE.  I am going to moderate my drinking and quit smoking .  I have been relying on these last two crutches for a long time and they are not serving me any longer.  The overlying goal is obviously to be more conscious, with that obviously effecting all parts of my life.

In one year, I want to be in the best shape of my life, have a long-term savings account (with money in it), be involved in a substantial relationship and continue to excel in school and work.

I also want to be in a better mood.  I've been pretty moody the last couple of years and I'm over it.  Over this next year, by staying true to myself, I will see a more balanced and joyful mood begin to take over.  

These are my goals.  Let's have a great year!