Surrender

Surrendering is a powerful concept that I was reminded of last night in group.  In my case, it means to give up fighting with my ego and give in to the power of my higher self.  I have been feeling for  a while now that a war is being waged between my habitual ego self who wants it all but is too afraid or too lazy to do the work and my higher consciousness who knows that it is by doing the work, that I will experience the joy.  My higher self knows implicitly that it is the process that provides personal growth.  The outcome is usually short-lived and is merely a consequence of the process. 

To surrender means to accept my ego and not fight with it.  Ego is not my enemy, rather is an important, albeit lesser evolved, part of who I am.  That said, I have been giving it too much power and living by it, mostly because it is what I have always done.  Then predictably, at some point, I very clearly see that I have been doing so and feel bad about myself.  I have even looked at my ego self as disgusting and worthless.  But what if I didn't hate my ego and didn't fight with it? What if I just learned to laugh at it and then learn to manipulate it to change my thinking. Ironically, by laughing at it instead of hating it, I could actually surrender to my higher self with more ease.

This week, I am going to meditate on the concept of surrender.  Instead of trying to figure it all out, I will let my consciousness guide me.  I will stay aware of my ego habits and when I want to act on them, I will smile and understand that it is o.k. to want to act on them, but there is another way that will lead me to the next highest version of myself that I have yet to experience.